Is it always wrong to lie?

 

Jia Ahn's post on this topic sparked off some controversy, and I have decided to elaborate more on my point of view. First of all, to set the record straight, I am pro-honesty and I believe in telling the truth - most of the time. I do not condone the bad habit of lying. However, I do not believe that all lies are wrong. I believe in weighing consequences and choosing the greater good as opposed to the lesser evil. I shall define those two later. But I don't believe that the ends justify the means either. Each case is unique in itself.

 

Definition of a Lie :

1.	a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

2.	something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.

3.	an inaccurate or false statement.

4.	the charge or accusation of lying: He flung the lie back at his accusers.

5.	to speak falsely or utter untruth knowingly, as with intent to deceive.

6.	to express what is false; convey a false impression.

 

Now that we have established that half-truths and wrong impressions are lies as well, let's move on to the second stage.

 

Consider these situations:

 

You're feeling depressed for some reason, and an acquaintance you meet asks you how you are doing by way of greeting.

Lie : "I'm fine", smile and walk away. After all, he/she isn't a close friend, he/she wouldn't understand.

Truth : Pour your heart out to an acquaintance who's probably regretting his/her decision to greet you in the first place.

Keep in mind : The question was asked by an acquaintance, not a close friend.

 

You really dislike your boss. When you meet her in the hallway, you...

Lie : Smile at her and greet her nicely, conveying the impression that you like her.

Truth : Scowl at her scorchingly, which is exactly how you feel about her.

Keep in mind : You hate your boss, but you're supposed to respect authority.

 

You are giving your friend a lift to meet a date. She asks you how she looks. You find her blouse too revealing and the colour scheme just hideous, but she's already running late and there's no time to change. You...

Lie : "You look fine ("great" would be too terrific a lie). Have a great time."

Truth : "You could look better, really. What's with the shade?" and ruin her mood.

Keep in mind : Your opinion cannot remedy anything here.

 

You attend an activity organized by inexperienced, but enthusiastic committee members. They ask your opinion on it. Personally, you have attended better activities, and you find this one boring. You...

Lie : "It's great, you guys have done a good job for newbies!" then proceed to give them some constructive criticism.

Truth : "This is boring. I've attended better."

Keep in mind : People need encouragement.

 

You are caught in a situation where a woman begs you to hide her from a serial rapist who's coming around the corner. You hide her, but the serial rapist comes your way and asks you if you have seen the woman. You

Lie : "Yeah, she went THAT way!" and send him off on a wild goose chase.

Truth : "Yeah, she's right here. Come with me."

Keep in mind : This man is a serial rapist. Enough said.

 

Some of you might have alternate answers to my situations, but remember, sidestepping a lie or avoiding an issue altogether to avoid telling a lie, isn't exactly truthful. Half-truths are also lies.

 

In situations where the truth will bring about worse consequences than the lie, I would choose to tell the lie instead. This is what I call choosing the greater good. Telling the truth is good, but telling a lie would bring about a GREATER good as compared to the truth. Most people call it choosing the lesser evil, because telling a lie is evil but telling the truth would bring about even worse consequences. However, choosing the greater good is a more appealing philosophy to me. =)

 

It's not every day that we come across situations like the ones I made up, and under normal circumstances, telling lies is something I would rather not do. Most of the time, my 'yes' is yes and my 'no' is no. I believe in not deceiving others for my own gain. But I know that it is difficult to be truthful no matter what the circumstances, and I know that it is impossible in certain situations to let others know how you are really feeling. Therefore, I will leave the judging to God, and let Him search my motives.

 

I rest my case.

Three years ago, I made a very detailed mental list of my Mr Right.

 

Being tagged by Eu Fern and having Sonia comment on how picky I was just encouraged me to elaborate even more on my list of criterion. LOL.

 

Mr Right would have to be a Christian, because my dad always told me that couples who share the same religious beliefs have enough problems as it is, so couples who DON'T would only be making a lot of trouble for themselves. Scary. Besides, a Christian man would share my values and be morally upright. Which is a lot of problems avoided. =P

 

My Mr Right would be a responsible dude. He wouldn't make me SCREAM at his irresponsibility or just "go with the flow" instead of planning when we go on trips. However, he need not be paranoid. Just responsible. =P Tardiness is a turn-off, especially if he's ALWAYS late on purpose. I can get VERY upset over being late, as my parents will attest to. But after a few years in SIB, I've adapted. xD

 

He would have to be English-educated to be on my wavelength and share my practical opinions instead of having differences that span the galaxy. He would be mature and open-minded, sensible and down-to-earth. Very important point here - he MUST be smarter than I am or possess certain talents that I value highly, because if he doesn't, then I might boss over him and disrespect him subconsciously. Might. But still a very big possibility. xD He should be dominant enough to take the lead in decision-making because I take forever to make decisions. Blame the middle-child syndrome. =P

 

Also, he must talk less than I do. I talk a lot. If he talks a lot too, we're going to be very noisy. For compatibility's sake lar. Haha. But clams are a definite no-no. If you're a clam and you're really interested, the requirements are that you'd better learn how to share. =P

 

Preferably, he would make me fall in love with him through a close friendship. Storge. I want someone I won't ever get sick of and be able to share my world with. This criteria was inspired by Amy, because I never get tired of her. xD He should be caring and understanding, instead of opinionated and rough. He should be able to evoke my respect for him by just being himself, and he must respect me for who I am. =)

 

He would possess a sense of humour so life doesn't get boring. He must also be quick enough to catch my sarcasm and spar with me, because a guy who surrenders too easily is no fun to tease. =P Okay, that's just optional. Haha.

 

He must be more emotionally stable than I am, and I am quite emotionally stable by female standards. A guy who is any less emotionally stable than I am would end up being MOTHERED by me *coughEDDIEcough*. XD I DON'T WANT THAT HAPPENING! Complicated, emo people are difficult to handle, and I believe guys should be boyish, not GIRLISH. xP A very reliable indicator is how much he rants and how often he has mood swings. =P

 

On the topic of "guys should be guys", he cannot be VAINER than I am. He cannot be materialistic, overly status-conscious or egoistic, because arrogance turns me off. He has to be a simple, boyish, clean and clear-cut guy. Straight as can be. =P He shouldn't like pink too. JUST JOKING. =P

 

He doesn't have to be romantic, really. I don't like being flooded with flowers and gifts and showy displays of affection. xD But I do need a guy who's not afraid to tell me he loves me. Doesn't every girl? Duh.

 

Oh, oh, and one last thing : He must have the abnormally good fortune to melt my plastic heart. Now I feel so perasan. XD

 

So this was three years ago, and I am in Form 5 now. If you ask me how it is even POSSIBLE to get a guy who fulfills every single point above, I only have one piece of advice for you : Get the guy you based your criteria on.

 

LOL.

Dear May, 

 

 

*the recipient melted*

 

*ahem*

 

Anyway, Jodi wrote me this in her spare time after completing Physics paper 3. With her left hand. It took her 15 minutes. The words don't matter, the effort does. =P Jodi has to be one of the sweetest girls in the class. Amy and I figured she has more oestrogen than the average girl 'cause guys fall all over her. She's so attractive that I even flirt with her on a daily basis, and I'm a girl. xP

 

The reason I'm writing this is because the feeling of finality has finally hit me. As I sat for my Biology paper 1 two weeks ago, I realized that that would be the very last time I sit for a biology paper set by Mr Yeo. And the same goes for all the other subjects.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going sentimental over subjects. Mental, maybe. Sentimental, NO WAY.

 

Amy once said to Wui Siong that he'd miss Form 5 life, and Wui Siong begged to differ, and then I said I wouldn't, and Amy said I would, and then Wui Siong said that a nerd like me wouldn't. Or was Amy the one who said that? xD

 

I hope I said that in order. =P

 

Anyway, the point is, maybe I'll miss form 5 life, especially my classmates who made it fun and bearable. Jodi's one of the people I'll miss, and Elyssa too. Elyssa sings songs for me on the spur of the moment while chatting in MSN. I'll miss Sing Kock's niceness, Evon's macho yet funny image, Chiong Kee's flair for drama and mimicking teachers, Adeline's funny imitations of people speaking English, Isabella's pretty smile, Wei Chern's comical stoicity when Amy and I fight over him, Ing Thian's knack for cracking up the class, Teck Ang's protests after most papers xP, Tiffany's reactions that'd put a volcano to shame, Swee Fan bullying Tiffany, Siau Fui enduring jokes about her relationship *ahem*...

 

Yes, I purposely left Amy out because as it is, I write a lot about her. =P

 

To the others who didn't appear in that very long paragraph, I can't write down every single little thing I'll miss about Form 5 life, so please don't feel hurt if I unintentionally left you out. (PERASAN! xD)

 

On a cheerier note, at least we have a class blog. xD The videos are good, and my favourite to date is the video of Elyssa interviewing classmates about Kelvin's new girlfriend.

 

LOL.