...who was tagged by Adeline, who was tagged by Jessie, who was tagged by I-dunnoe-who. Haven't done a tag in ages, so here goes. =P

 

Important things in your life:

Theology

You, you, you and you and you and you and you. xD Feel free to imagine yourself as one of the 'you's if you want to.

Mophie ophie kooky mookie fluffy doggie!

The smell of freshly sunned pillowcases (yes, I know I'm random)

Junk food *oops, that slipped out*

Laughter and the equally laughable people who make me laugh. =P

Uhhh...what else...transparent bra straps?

 

What is the last thing you bought with your own money:

Sorry to pop ya bubble, dearie, but I don't own no money. All expenses covered by parents. =P And the last thing I bought (with my parents' money)? Tomato bihun lunch. =P

 

What is your dream place for your wedding?

Boy, is this random. Trying to catch me off-guard, eh? Well, if I tell you, you'll have to marry me. Deal? xD

 

How long is your relationship with your soulmate?

Um, lemme see. 5, 6 years? Right, Amy?

 

Are you in love?

HAH. Finally got to the point, didn't you? Well yes, I am in love. Ask my mophie offie if you don't believe me. HMPH. She loves me too, by the way. =P

 

Where is the last restaurant you went to for dinner?

That one behind Secret Recipe which is located across the road from what formerly was Upwell downtown. Go figure. =P

 

Last book you bought:

Probably some random notebook. No idea.

 

What is your full name?

May Yap Ai Quan. Do you want my IC number, gender, blood type and parents' wages as well?

 

Who are you more comfortable with? Mum or dad?

Depends on the subject. xD

 

Name the person you want to meet most in your life:

Barney.

 

...I'm kidding. =P

 

Do you wash your clothes alone?

?! Am I supposed to wash them in pairs?

 

The place you want to go the most:

HAHA. Neh, over there. xD

 

Kiss or hug?

Both, please. =P Do I even have to ASK?

 

Words that always come out of your mouth:

SERIOUSLY?

..if you get what I mean.

AS IF.

You have no idea.

Rennnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

 

8 books you have read:

(please gimme a break, I need a Kit Kat.)

 

8 songs you hear the most:

Whatever's playing at the nearest supermarket. =P

There's a certain timeless beauty in hymns of old that you just can't find in Hillsongs or Planetshakers albums.

 

This is one of my favourites.

 

 

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle shield, sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Those who want to listen to the song, click here.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise, Thou mine inheritance, now and always. Thou mine inheritance, now and always. =)

Amy left for Aimst this morning.

 

The reality of not having my best friend staying a mere 800m from my house hasn't quite sunk in yet. No more spontaneous outings, 'study' dates, long chats or visits 'just because'. My last short-distance close friendship has officially turned long-distance. I guess it's going to be cyber communication from now on, and good thing I have lots of practice already, thanks to certain people.

 

In a way, this has made be realize how much of a loner I truly am. All my closest friends are far away from me, connected to me by only the internet. Jia Wern. Eddie. Rachelle. Amy. Out of the four, only three communicate with me with any sort of regularity. (Guess the culprit who doesn't stay in touch. =P) I'm not much of an extrovert, and will never fully become one. These few people know me very well, and are my 'give and take' friends, meaning the support provided is mutual and two-way. Not to say that other friends don't provide support - it's just that all too often I find myself more on the giving than receiving side with others. I don't mind it that way, and deep inside I acknowledge that I'd much rather care for others than to actually depend on them. The few I mentioned, however, I am capable of drawing my strength and inspiration from. Because my true sources of support are so few, the departure of yet another one leaves a noticeable hollowness in my heart.

 

Amy was the one who actually watched me grow and develop through the rough adolescent and teenage years. 15 April 2009 will be the point when we start going our separate ways into separate fields, perhaps even ending up on separate continents in the near future. No more studying together to face the same subjects and teachers. Our lives will be vastly different, with hardly any connecting links. The change is rather unnerving.

 

Oh, I have ways of consoling myself, and I do employ them to the best of my ability. I try every so often to see the brighter side of things - perhaps with her leaving, I'll be forced to step out of my comfort zone and make more friends to depend on. Maybe it's time to start anew. Maybe for all my pessimism, there will be others who can understand me, and more importantly, actually identify with my sentiments. If all else fails, I can always bury myself in all sorts of activities and plans to keep myself occupied, leaving no room for self-pity. I can reach out more and give more of myself to others. But at the end of the day, I'd truly like a close friend to be there in the flesh for me. At least one.

 

And this is one of the many times I wish I had the EQ of a guy.

 

[Author's note : I'm not being overly dependent or clingy. I really don't have many close friends, practically none short-distance, in fact, and that's why every friendship matters a lot.]

I've been in school for 13 years already, and probably will continue on for another 2 years. The kindy I attended was the big chinese one at 7th Mile (no wonder I'm demented, right?), my primary school years were spent in SJK Chung Hua Sg Lubak(which 99.9% of you readers don't even know exists because it's a "rural" school situated in an obscure place), and my secondary school life was experienced in SMK Jalan Arang. SMK Batu Lintang will probably host my next graduation ceremony, but that's not really the point.

 

The point is, how many names in the above paragraph are well-known? [Exception : SMK BL doesn't count because I haven't studied there YET.] None, as far as I know. I'll never have the privilege of telling someone else that I went to St Teresa or St Joseph (HAHAHA I did that once just to shock Pastor Wilfred who stared at me and asked if I was a guy) or some prestigious school that people immediately recognize at the mention of half the name. Most conversations go like these :

 

 

But, if you ask me, I can truthfully tell you that I don't mind at all. I don't mind my glamour-less school background - in fact, I can appreciate coming from such a background. My parents always sent us kids to the nearest school available for convenience. Living near a school does make life much easier when it comes to transport affairs and co-curricular activities. Miss the bus? Just walk home lor. Parents have urgent stuff to attend to? Just walk home lor. Save petrol, save money and save the environment some more. =P

 

Some parents send their kids to prestigious schools because schools like that offer their children more chance of participating in competitions and activities that not-so-prestigious schools can't organize/take part in due to the lack of talents. I can see the point in doing that, because it is true that a school like mine will never go far in english debate competitions and the like. It is positively impossible to find people who can both speak english fluently AND don't suffer from stage fright in a predominantly chinese-educated population. But we do have an advantage when it comes to chinese-related activities. =P I digress, though. Another thing I wanted to point out was, due to the lack of talents, I got many opportunities I would never have gotten otherwise. If I were placed in St Teresa, I doubt I'd have had the opportunity to represent my school in public speaking competitions, simply because there are so many others who can do public speaking in english effortlessly. Because I came from a rural primary school and was the only one in my class who could speak English fluently (and also had the benefit of parents who did public speaking on a daily basis as teachers), I was the ONLY choice for my headmaster. So, one-on-one, he honed and developed my skill in public speaking. Since then, I have developed my own style of public speaking, but I still thank him for detecting my potential. And now I can say, with equal right and equal pride, that I am not sub-standard to those who represent prestigious schools. I know I can do public speaking well enough. Not because of my own ability, but because God gave me this gift and a chance to develop it.

 

Honestly speaking, I would not have been able to obtain as many interschool competition certificates had I gone to some other prestigious school with plenty of outstanding, gifted students. I'm not using this reason to encourage parents to send their children to the lousiest schools possible - all I'm saying is, there are advantages and benefits to sending your children to ordinary, unpopular schools like mine.

 

Some parents want the best education possible for their kids, and that is their primary motive for sending their kids to prestigious schools. This is true to a certain extent - the competition there will definitely be fiercer because you're competing against rivals with quality aka the cream of the crop. This can, to a certain extent, spur one on to greater heights (the power of the kiasuness is exponential). However, to claim that teachers in prestigious schools can teach/perform better in class is not entirely true. As long as the school is a government school and not a private institution, good teachers and bad teachers will be distributed more or less equally. In my form 5 year, I had some pretty neat teachers. One of the best taught us Moral and breathed life into that unreasonable subject. How is that even possible? Ask her. =) My dad once claimed that we might very well have the best science and maths team (of teachers in public schools) in the whole of Kuching. I believe him, because we have very experienced teachers who work hard and set high standards, not just for us students, but for themselves. They were so good that we whined because they were so demanding. =P Of course, we had our share of bad teachers too. For instance, the language panel in our school is...um...ah well, dunnid say lar. SMKJA DOES have good language teachers, just very few.

 

The thing is, a good education isn't obtained by merely spoon-feeding students information. It isn't possible to score well by just paying attention in class and not do revision/homework or anything extra (unless teachers directly give tips to exams - then maybe that's possible, but is that really called learning?). Those who say they can OBVIOUSLY go for tuition (where they have homework AND assignments as well to complete), so that point is moot. We can depend on teachers to a certain degree, but ask most high achievers, and they will tell you that they study hard as well. Those who claim they don't are lying. =P Unless you're talking about UPSR level, then oookkkaaayyy, fragment of truth there. xD My parents always tell us that the real difference lies within the student, not the school he/she is put in. As long as you're willing to work hard and know how to study smart, you can do well. Very few can learn 100%. But is 100% necessary to score an A1? A 97% or 88% is also an A1. Going to St Teresa doesn't guarantee that my 88% can turn into a 100% anyway.

 

So you see, it doesn't quite matter which school you come from. Whether or not you're a better person depends a lot on other factors, not just school. I don't view others as 'higher' than I am because they come from prestigious schools. At the end of the day, we're still students, we're still humans, and we all have our unique personalities and talents. Why must St Jo be better than St Thom? =P (Oi, neutral statement here, no flying rotten tomatoes please, I have nothing against Josephians.) Why compare?

 

...Unless you're from Lodge.

 

Kidding! =P

I'm constantly hungry nowadays. Very uncanny for a girl like me who should be able to survive on one Zip wafer and one mug of tea for breakfast every morning. Oh, and I still lead a very sedentary life - no gym visits to tone up my abs or similar stuff that might explain away my voracious appetite. (Subjective adjective here. "Voracious" in relation to MY personal eating habits)

 

I'm sleeping more or less 3 hours in the afternoon regularly, as compared to the 1.5 hours I used to be able to survive on (and the none I used to be able to survive on during SPM and the months after that).

 

Based on the facts above, I should be gaining weight like a piggy getting fattened up for a banquet. But no, I've actually lost weight over the past few months (or weeks? never actually checked) despite leading a stress-free life with only the barest minimum of my new best friend, STPM Mathematics (cue horror movie theme).

 

Is it POSSIBLE to have a growth spurt at this age? Defies everything I know about Biology and the female body. xD I quote Amy : You're lagging. I KNOW! I'm supposed to reach a plateau at MY age. Actually, I thought that plateau was reached a few years ago when I stopped growing and ended up only this tall. =P

 

Hmm. A growth spurt sideways would DEFINITELY be unattractive. Hopefully it's upwards, IF it IS, in fact, a growth spurt and not just a crazy craving for food. =P

 

A note to readers/followers of this blog, I have been rebitten by the blogging bug. At the moment, there's this topic I've been thinking about blogging on.

 

...I just can't put it in an orderly manner yet. Incoherent, disorganized thoughts aren't good for intellectual stuff. Maybe one of these days, when I'm motivated enough to start on it. =P Till then, take care.

If yet another person was to say "You have so much potential in you, you should maximize it" to me, my lips would tighten and  I would shrug in a dismissive gesture, smiling, but inside I'll start steaming like those fat round things that KFC always depict in their ads. You know, that thing with the Colonel's face on it. That red and white thing.

 

But I'm too polite to show that, so people think it's very safe to push me around, to try to convince me that their way of thinking is right, that they know what's best for me, and that I'll thank them someday, if not today. And we're not even talking about my PARENTS. When I try to be realistic, they think I'm looking down on my super talented, indispensable, wonderful, amazing, geniusy, give-employers-a-run-for-their-money self. Yeah.

 

Excuse me. Low self-esteem? Excuse me. I have a problem with pride already as it is. (And don't laugh condescendingly, EVERYONE has a problem with pride - once you think you're free from it, that's when you can be sure you've got it.)

 

My reply at the moment?

 

 

(Hey, that full-stop sums up how I feel pretty well.)

 

God, You open doors, You close them too. I'm tired of defending this calling. I don't even know if it's a calling anymore, with people attacking it on all sides. You be my defender. You be my spokesman. I'm tired. Do what You think is best for me. You've led me this far and You will lead me for the rest of my life. I put my trust in You, for You are a faithful God. Not my will, but Yours be done. Amen.

 

I'll end this on a hopeful note. =)

 

 

Mother, Mom, Mama

 

Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.

 

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organisational skills and be willing to work variable hours which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call.

 

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

 

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily...until someone needs ten ringgit.

 

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 100 kph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

 

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

 

Must screen phone calls, maintain calenders and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

 

Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

 

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and an embarrassment the next.

 

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery-operated devices.

 

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

 

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

 

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

 

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

 

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

 

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

 

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.