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March 31 A story.Chichichichip 'n Dale! Rescue Rangers!
...for the umpteenth time already. I just can't get that song out of my head. And I have a fairly good guess as to why is that. XD
So, Episode 10002 filed away under "eyebrow-raising moments" : Once upon a day in the very dramatic life of May Yap Ai Quan, school had just let out for the aforementioned protagonist and she was busy photostating 40 copies of her dad's income tax form (long story) while happening upon the realization that she'd forgotten her lunch box AGAIN and it was still sitting snugly in her desk drawer three floors up, meaning she would have to run all the way upstairs again and...
I do believe I suffer from ALBML. Acute Lunch Box Memory Lapse. I think I've forgotten to bring it back at least six times already in these three months.
Anyway. Out of nowhere pops her SISTER, RENE. Wait a minute, I capitalized the wrong words. Allow me to rephrase. Out of nowhere pops her sister, Rene, HOLDING A CATERPILLAR IN A PLASTIC FILE. I shall refrain from giving you the exact dimensions of that plump grub to spare you from a sudden appetite loss. But I feel a little hypocritical here. You see, I myself once hand-reared one of those caterpillars - and it was maggot-infested even before I knew it was dead. Right. Appetite loss. Back to original topic.
To short the long, there we were, arguing in front of the E-copy centre with a worker adding in her comments about how cute the caterpillar was (okay, maybe not, but I can't exactly remember what the worker said) - Rene wanted me to bring the caterpillar home for her, and I wasn't - mildly put - a caterpillar rights activist. Refer to historical traumatic event related to maggots. Appetite loss. Back to original topic. So, there we were debating, and it turned out she was just trying to rescue that poor caterpillar who was bound to be killed by one of her heartless friends if she didn't take it under her wing. My heart didn't exactly melt at that, but...okay. I didn't wanna see the poor guy dead. Besides, dead, mushed up caterpillars are even more appetit...right. Back to original topic.
Heroically, I conceded. And I had to babysit the caterpillar for a while before dad got off duty. And no, I didn't name it. I don't get attached to grubs THAT fast. Then along comes Sing Kock, and what do you know - he CROONS over the caterpillar and asks if he may PET it.
WHAT IS IT WITH MY GUY FRIENDS AND GRUB-LIKE STUFF?!
Sorry, emotional outburst. XD
In the end, I found the caterpillar a new home, and it lived happily ever after - presumably, that is. -The End- March 26 Of Emoness and Biology"Why are you so emo?"
"I'm not emo. I'm just tired."
"No, you're emo."
"Fine, I'm tired and emo."
"Are you really just tired?"
*rolls eyes* Make up your mind lah.
"How can you be emo? You're copying me huh?"
"Why can't I be emo?"
On another note, my Bio teacher can be impossibly adorable. This is what happened last week.
"Teacher, where are our souvenirs?"
We'd heard that when he came back from Sabah, he brought souvenirs with him and gave them to the other classes. So we were demanding our fair share too. =P He grinned very paisehly, and in his halting english, consoled us.
"The other classes robbed them all already. My bag was very small, so I only bought a few things. Not enough space to put into the bag. But I can get souvenirs for you next week. Don't mind if they're not from Sabah, okay?"
SO. SO. SO. Adorable. I know it's not part of the traditional male ego to be considered adorable, but hey, if you knew how short he was and how...*cough*. He never uses the "stick" method with us. It's carrots, carrots and carrots all the way through. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if one day those carrots turned into carats. =P
Anyway, we got our gifts today. XD
Oh, and he's really very generous with heaping rewards on us for doing well. I got a Bio reference book which cost RM 23.50 for scoring in that subject. The top ten highest in the class all got presents. Ever since last year, when he taught us Chemistry, we've been drowning in the abundance of these rewards. XD I still don't know what to do with those valuable (I think) collector's stamps he gave us. Bribery! xD But hey, it works. =P
Teachers can be so cute. =P March 24 The plot thickens.Mr Murray
I looked into the mirror. A well-dressed, sharp-looking man smirked back. Brushing an imaginary speck of dust off the Armani suit I wore, I admired the image. Ah, the fine life. I sat down at the mahagony desk, my eyes drawn to the family photo in the ornate photo frame displayed proudly for my clients' viewing. The American Dream. Let them envy me. That smug smirk was still in place.
A sudden spite welled up in my heart as my eyes fell on the little boy standing with his sister in the middle of the picture. My son, James. My intended heir. Oh, he was useful as a trophy, but how useless he was in the area of worldly gain. How dare he defy my orders; how dare he destroy my perfect plan. Because of him, my political campaign was nearly ruined. Oh, no, not because of him. Because of that Dana, or whatever that witch's name is. She's cast a spell over him. Oh, well, that's taken care off now. It's nothing personal, son. It's just business.
Frances. I wondered where she was now. She wouldn't come back anymore. Not that I minded. That ungrateful daughter of mine was forever at odds with me. Women. All the women in my life only caused me strife. Since when were they supposed to be my conscience?
The rapping on the door caught my attention. "Come in," I admired the sound of my own voice resonating around the perfectly furnished office. Ah, Marshall. I liked this one. Hardworking, responsible, a tad sad puppy-like, and most importantly, naive. Perfect for my purposes. I chuckled in glee to myself.
"You called me, sir?"
"Yes, yes. I wanted to talk to you."
"What about, sir?"
"I will be hosting a function tonight. And I want you to be present."
"Me, sir? I'm honoured."
"Yes, you, son. You've put up a good job performance around here. That's why I'm going to show you off to the bigshots. Oh, and before I forget, I suggest you bring a date. You know, James' ex-girlfriend. Just ask her out for the night - it'll help sharpen up your image of togetherness. And in this political business, son, your image is everything."
"Sir, I'm not too sure..."
"He won't be there tonight - he's out of town for the weekend. Don't worry. Just ask her for a favour as a friend."
"Alright, I'll ask her, sir. Thanks."
"Be here at 7 sharp. Remember, your image is everything."
"Yes, sir."
The door creaked shut behind him, and I leaned back onto the padded chair in satisfaction. Marshall, oh, Marshall. You're so in love with her. Anyone can see that. And so, you shall be the perfect instrument in keeping them apart.
I smirked. It's just business, son. Just a few laughable articles.Dear IT Support,
***
Love Theories
Shakespeare: If she doesn't, the Weibull distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.
Salesman: If she doesn't, either there's friction higher than the force or the angle of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle. March 19 Humbling.Sometimes, the little things in life humble us.
I was walking down the corridor back to my class when I saw her. She smiled at me, and I was a trifle startled because she was merely an acquaintance.
"May Yap, you're brilliant. You got full marks for your Bio objective portion."
"Really? I didn't even know that."
"Mr Yeo let our class mark your papers because he was too busy. I marked yours."
"Oh, thanks."
"You're so brilliant."
Back in class, another friend who'd overheard this conversation also voiced her awe.
"It's only the objective portion."
"As if that isn't good enough?"
I am humbled when I think about the look of admiration on that acquaintance's face. I don't deserve it. I harp too much on my not-so-perfect results, without even thinking about others who fail their papers. If it had been a competitor who'd said that to me, I would have shrugged it off with, "Nothing great, 25 questions only mah." And I mean it, even to myself. It's usually "not good enough" in my personal opinion.
But today, God decided open my eyes in a gentle way. And I realize that nothing I have I deserve, everything is His, including my results, be they bad or good. I am truly humbled. And I feel blessed. =) March 16 The 8 Commandments For Bloggers[Author's note : I came across this thought-provoking article in Kairos, and I have no intention whatsoever to judge or condemn any blogger. I myself am not entirely innocent of breaking these commandments. =P]
The 8 Commandments for Bloggers
David BC Tan
#1 You shall have no other gods but Me.
The blog is not a god, and neither are you. For all its potential and power, a blog has neither life nor personality except for what you choose to imbue it with and what I graciously permit. Do not place your confidence in the blogosphere. Neither should you place your blog on a pedestal to serve it with slavish obsession. Remember, I alone am worthy of your complete devotion. Therefore, do not let what you wish to write for your readers take precedence over My own Word to you. I am the Author, Creator, and Sustainer of life, the Giver of all good gifts. Do not dishonour me by idolising your blog, revelling in your own cleverness, for I am a jealous God.
#2 You shall not take My name in vain.
My Name is majestic and deserving of honour. Therefore, do not fill your blog with profanity, empty religious catchphrases, and irreverent references to Me and Mine. Be careful not to misrepresent Me with claims to perfect ecclesiastical or theological understanding, for that would be pretentious. However noble your intentions, refuse foolish and ignorant speculations. Otherwise, your blog risks becoming an instrument of discord, a tool for mischief, or a platform for self-aggrandizement. I alone am all-knowing. Only I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
#3 You shall keep the Sabbath holy
Six days you blog, but take a rest on the seventh. You have a life offline, seek it and nurture it. Let your blogging be a vocation unto Me; Hand it over to me as a living sacrifice for that is your worship. Remember you were once a slave to sin, driven by self-centred ambition;do not risk being enslaved again. Your blog was made for you, you were not made for blogs. Keep this in mind, for that which empowers you also has the power to rule over you.
#4 Do not murder
Do not kill a person's reputation in your blog. You may be incensed, but let it go before the day is over. In your anger do not sin. If you post a critique, be careful not to break another's spirit for a thin line separates constructive criticism from character assasination. Remember that in the blogosphere, wounds do not heal and the dead do not stay buried. Sometimes a thing is better left unsaid than spoken unkindly.
#5 Do not commit adultery
Let there be no hint of sexual immorality in your blog. Do not be seduced by unrestrained transparency. Do not be deceived, for narcissism is aroused when transparency is pursued in the mistaken name of authenticity. Maintain virtue in all your posts. Think before you link, and be careful of coupling with other blogs to bask vicariously in their authors' renown. Beware when your blog receives notice, for it may breed self-importance. You are already pledged to Me; therefore you shall not love any other person-least of all yourself-as you love Me.
#6 Do not steal
Do not take from another blogger's post or someone else's writing without acknowledgement and claim it as your own. Respect copyrights and avoid plagiarism. For when you take for yourself what belongs to another without his or her permission, you have stolen as well as lied.
#7 Do not lie
Beware of fabricating an online persona. Be yourself, and be truthful. Above all, do not let your blog be like so many others that have become a repository of false allegations, unconfirmed rumours, and salacious gossips. Remember that you are in the blogosphere, but not of it. Do not forget that judgment is visited upon blogs that bear false witness, and so will police reports and lawsuits. Write as bloggers who have been set free but do not abuse your freedom and use your blog for evil.
#8 Do not covet
Do not crave your fellow bloggers' popularity and awards nor envy those on their blogrolls. There is godliness in contentment. Do not lust after traffic to their blogs - their hits, page views, unique visitors, their reputation, and ranking. Be grateful when visitors are drawn to your blog; only do not let them draw you away from Me.
These are my commandments to you and all bloggers. Pay attention, learn them, and be sure to put them into practice. I, the Lord your God, do not discriminate on the basis of ethnicity, social status, gender, bandwidth, or fame in the blogosphere, and neither should you. Your blog is no longer yours for I own you; I bought you with a price. Therefore, let your blog be a beacon of light in a blogosphere where much darkness resides. Follow this, and your blog will be a blessing. March 14 BlindI see
Hidden motives
I read
between lines
My anger
burns like a fire
Guided by instinct
My perception
Do I detect
disdain,
Sir, disrespect?
Where is the subtle spite?
I need look no further
Guilty
You are
They say I am blind
No
I am not
I am right.
I am right. March 13 Prefectorial philosophy.People ask me why I'm not a prefect every once in a while, and I give different answers according to the individual. =P
Yes, I was once a prefect, back in Form 1. A good one, even, to the extent that others said if I hadn't resigned, I would've been selected as the Afternoon Head. Not to be arrogant or what.
And I very nearly got myself beaten up in the course of my duties one day. Not long after that, my parents called up the school and requested the teacher to let me go. I didn't play a part in any of that. My parents tend to take matters into their own hands at times, especially my mum. =P
I only began to appreciate their wisdom as I went through the years in secondary school. When the time came for prefects to be reselected again in form 4, this time I had my own philosophy, and I stuck to it. It wasn't easy, though, when I thought of how nice that title'd look on my resume. Or rather, how UNNICE it would be for that title to be ABSENT from my resume, while everyone else had it. But I don't think I would've made a good prefect by then anyway, with my skepticism and unbelief in the system.
I recall a conversation between me and James once (James Loi, not the James in the series - he's a fictional character by the way =P) regarding this issue.
May : Don't ask me why I'm not a prefect.
James : I'm GLAD you're not a prefect.
May : Why?
James : Because you're the kind of person in which right is right and wrong is wrong. That would get you into a lot of trouble. True. I remember someone telling me : I guess I just have an overblown sense of what's legal and what's not. I hear you, brother. xD
The world really doesn't need more people like me. Hehe. March 12 The ReturnDiana
The rain was pouring outside, but that wasn't enough to dampen my spirits. He was coming back today. Oh, the myriad of emotions that followed that thought! A surge of warmth overwhelmed my heart, and my joy displayed itself through a grin stretched from cheek to cheek. Anticipation. Trepedition. Lovely apprehension. I coloured slightly as I wondered if he felt the same way too.
Was it just me, or was Time creeping by slowly to prolong my wait? Cruel. Positively cruel. I bounced back onto the bed and hugged my pillow tightly to myself. He's coming back, and that's all that matters. He's coming back. What does it feel like to be in love? I smiled, knowing I couldn't describe that sweet current of warmth flowing through me. All I knew, he loved me too.
***
The seconds ticked by, turning into minutes. One, two, three. I craned my neck to get a better view of the port, even though I knew his ship wasn't anywhere in sight yet. Delays. I sighed. The restlessness I felt manifested itself in my fidgeting and constant glancing at my watch. After what seemed like an interminable 15 minutes, the ship finally appeared in the misty horizon. I sighed again. It would take no less than another half hour for it to be docked properly. I began to feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. Between willing the ship to hurry up and having my stomach in knots, the wait was excruciating.
But "finally" finally arrived. I caught sight of his awkward gait in the crowd of passengers disembarking from the ship. All of a sudden, I was seized by an apprehension so great I froze. He was looking around eagerly, but his eyes betrayed his nervousness as well. "He's nervous too," I chuckled despite myself. Somehow, knowing that fact was comforting.
"He's your best friend, anyway. What's the difference? You shouldn't be nervous or awkward. Just act natural," I talked myself into a calmer state, and finally found it in myself to approach him. His face lit up when he met my eyes, but I could see that my presence left him tongue-tied. Desperate to lighten up the atmosphere, I managed a feeble "hey". He averted his eyes for a split second, and looked back. And chuckled. Relieved, I began to grin again.
"You're blushing."
Oh, so that was why he was laughing. I attempted to salvage my dignity by wiping that grin off my face, but to no avail. I couldn't help myself, and blushed even deeper. So many things I wanted to say, but they all ended up stuck in my throat. He was coming closer now, and I couldn't move. Before I knew it, I was wrapped in a bear hug. All I could do was to hug him tightly in return. Suddenly, words seemed superfluous. Everything would be all right. Everything felt all right.
"Mrsshu."
Startled, I loosened my grip on him. "You said something?"
He looked up to the ceiling, took a deep breath and looked back at me.
"I missed you," He was getting choked up now.
I smiled, indicating that the feeling was mutual. I playfully touched the end of his nose.
"Who's blushing now?"
Then he smiled, and hugged me again.
[Author's note : The entire story is compiled in Edenia, so if you are interested in the whole series or want a more comprehensive reading, it's there.] March 10 Respect, and thou shalt be respected.I hear teachers complaining about student behaviour all the time. I truly understand - the students nowadays are getting bolder, they don't respect authority anymore, they just plain don't listen, so whatever you do, they'll just continue doing their own stuff. They know you can't rotan them anyway. =P
I aspire to be a teacher, and so I am in tune with the current conditions.
But there is one thing I really don't agree with, and that is the fact that while teachers are so busy criticizing our attitudes, they tend to over emphasize what they feel on THEIR side, and not realize that the lack of respect (which happens to be the root of all problems) exists on both sides. I accept that students nowadays can be frustratingly insolent, particularly those from a good middle-class background and can afford to go for tuition. But this fact sticks out like a sore thumb : Teachers don't respect us students either. Adults tend to have a one-track mind when it comes to issues like this.
The thing is, how can you expect us to give you proper respect if you don't respect us? Respect isn't something you can demand. Respect is earned. Respect is not a one-way street. Students have favourites just as teachers have favourites. We honour and respect teachers who do the same to us, and we certainly know which teacher really loves teaching, and which teacher's just going through the motions and hating every second of it.
How can you hold that since we're just students, our opinion doesn't count? Is it because we haven't fully matured in our thinking? Good point. But we aren't stupid. We have feelings as well. And some of us might be more objective than the teachers themselves. What we want, is to be viewed as equals, and to have our opinions accepted. I dare say many students will have half-baked opinions, but just because they can't see the whole picture yet, that doesn't mean their opinions can be discarded like rubbish. Treat us with respect, and we will respect your decisions even if you decide against our suggestions.
Nowadays, students are more aware of their rights, so teachers cannot bully them as they like anymore. We voice out our opinions, since we're entitled to have them, but then what do we get?
"Students nowadays have no respect for their teachers."
I am appalled. So what about all the generations before us who meekly sat in their seats getting blasted for no apparent reason? What about the students of the 80s who had to endure volatile teachers without a squeak? Only NOW do students dare to voice out what they feel. We're not even making up for lost time. =S
The cold, hard truth is that some teachers can be worse than students at times. I say this objectively. Teachers tend to bully students. Students, know your rights. You have the right to reject an offer for a competition/post if need be. Take care not to be taken in by claims of "since the school selected you, you have to go". I particularly despise this form of coercion. Teachers know that we don't know better, so they make claims to scare us into submission. Their job of recruiting is done, and the students are the ones who end up slogging for competitions for months on end.
You see, I was one of the victims for so many years. I found rejecting offers difficult, even when I was reluctant to participate. The teachers didn't give me an easy time too, so most of the time I ended up with plenty of obligations. Learning to say "no" was tough for me, but I eventually learnt how to, with help from my parents, of course. =P
Teachers shouldn't lie as well. I repeat, students are not dongs. But it is true that many of us are scared into submission. I was once part of the timid gang, but now I've grown up a little more and realized that some teachers will say/do just about anything so that things will go their way. I am ashamed of this attitude within the teaching force.
Look, I don't expect teachers to be perfect - but I do demand one thing: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Otherwise, stop harping on our failures. Why don't we accept that students and teachers can both learn from each other? Why allow seniority to puff up?
Someday, God willing, I will identify myself as part of them, and this identity is demoralizing. Degrading.
God bless our future educators. March 09 Happy Birthday to Sunshine!Happy Birthday, Dale Chia Kong Min, or better known as just Kong Min. Don't give me that "swt" face again. XD
So I was wondering if I had to do this on time TONIGHT, with my eyes so blurry and sleepy and my cell respiration slowing down and what not, and besides you won't be back till Tuesday anyway...oh, the horrors of National Service. I never knew you were so patriotic. =P
Oh, and I'm also sorry that Amy and I couldn't make you a birthday paper like we did last year on the spur of the moment. XD
But anyway, here's to the lovable, affectionate, funny, candid and MEAN little brother of mine. *ahem*
Thanks for being a source of SUNSHINE, and bragging that you were always named KONG MIN (light) anyway. For being so blur and naive that you wanted to approach me even with all the social stigma at that time (guy friends can be sooou immature, hoh?), and teaching me not to care about what others thought. Not that you got very far with that philosophy of yours.... STILL, you tried, didn't you? Hehe.
Thanks for teaching me how to care, and how to love unselfishly in the process of interacting with you. =)
Just for your information, I've never forgotten that weird sentence you taught me to remember oil fractions in descending order of boiling points. Polite Polish Never Kill Dogs Like Funky British. Petroleum, Petrol, Naptha, Kerosene, Diesel, Lubricant oil, F....F....I can't remember what...and BITUMEN! =P
Looks like your formula didn't get me very far, though. Ah, May, you gotta start revising that chemistry of yours. Haha. But I digress. We're talking about YOU now, not me. You're so loyal (don't worry, I still think you are), direct, intelligent, humorous, adorable and sweet. Thanks for that music CD you burnt for me. Awww, my heart melted. XD
And you've been a great friend all these years. Thanks. =)
And Happy 18th Birthday!
And yes, I know I talk too much. XD
P.s And stop talking about water. It doesn't help, okay? =P And oh, I checked, and the missing one was "fuel oil". Hahaha. March 06 Wuliao. =PI'm sitting down here, dazed at my sudden freedom. And so I am driven to write, but nothing comes to me.
WHAT?? Nothing?! Impossible, you say. But true nonetheless. Okay, I suppose I'll just write down what I have to do within this one week holiday to organize my own thoughts.
1. Speech. Script. Long. Neglected. Bad. Girl. May.
2. EST. Presentation. Bad. Girl. May.
3. Study for Bible Knowledge Quiz. Bad. Bad. Bad. Procrastinator.
4. Integration. Homework. *chokes*
5. Tidy. Bedroom. Looks. Like. A. Nest. Bad. Girl. May.
6. Bathe. Dog.
7. Read novels.
8. Finish novels and write up for Nilam. =.=
I think I like 7 so much that I'll just recompile the list.
7.
7.
7.
7.
7.
7.
7. March 04 A fit of ungratefulness.I shall be the laughing stock of the whole class when my History paper gets back to me.
I suppose not even the dumbest person wrote both essays, huh? No wonder I didn't have any extra time. So while others learnt 3 essays, I learnt 6. How lovely. Accounts for how saturated my brain feels. No wonder.
*Sigh*
I am so depressed.
But at least Add Maths and History are over.
I doubt Ms Tiong'll be impressed with my performance this time. Not that she ever was before. =P Sorry, my dad's mathematical genes got lost in translation. They never reached me. I'd like to think I'm a late bloomer, but it's apparent that I'm a bloomin' idiot and not much else. Suppose one can't have everything, huh?
Quoth Pn Lily (talking to my sister): Keep up the good work. Your art is better than your sister's.
Another blow to my ego. xD HEY, I'm HURT. =P
Blah.
Life can be a rat race full of meaningless nothingness.
The worst thing is, I'm not even pms-ing. Even in a rational state, I am uttering these words.
I WISH I were being irrational. =P March 03 MelodyI love this song. Short, sweet and unique.
Melodi
Sheila Majid and Lin Yu Zhong
（Sheila Majid） Kau melodi yang indah; Menusuk di jiwa ; Tanpamu hidupku tak bermakna （Lin Yu Zhong） 多麽實在的感覺 ; 望著你的臉 ; 這一刻 ; 我到了被人遺忘的永遠 （Sheila Majid） Pertemuan yang tanpa diduga （Lin Yu Zhong） 像迷路的人找到回家的路綫 （Sheila Majid） Engkau bak lagu dan aku bagai irama Beautiful. =) |
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