I vaguely remember a time when I hopped out of bed in the morning, eager to spend the day with my friends in school. I similarly recall a time when my life revolved around school activities, even to the extent of begging my mum to let me stay behind and have lunch in school for extra class - even when I didn't need it. My mum would rather I went back home, ate lunch at home, and go back to school.

 

NO way. All the fun begun after school, before extra class started. It also gave me a feeling of independance. I recall being in the centre of attention, teacher's pet ( I think nothing much has changed in this aspect, but it's not my fault anyway), and looked up to in almost every circumstance. Virtually every inter-school competition my school participated in had my name registered in it (small school wad). I loved school because it was my life. And did I mention the hours on the phone with school friends when I was at home?

 

Somehow, along the way, things changed. I don't know exactly when or where, but I do know this : I'd skip school to study now if school actually wasted more time of mine than I can afford. My focus shifted to studies, studies, studies, time management and planned leisure. Get this, if my leisure time isn't planned, it usually becomes a source of guilt. The once sociable and "friends are the reason I go to school" me changed. Come to think of it, I had so many best friends before, in primary school. I suppose I'd rather concentrate on a select few now.

 

I never thought I'd be anything like my brother, since he never liked school much. In fact, I distinctly recall declaring that I would stay in school, be nothing like my brother and continue to be the good student that I was. 

 

 

I don't know if you think alike, but I think I made more of an impact when I was in primary school. No worries, just love. Lots and lots of love. I enjoyed life more too. In secondary school, I feel obliged to make the most use of my time, so the only things that are preventing me from skipping school (to study, of course) are prior commitments and my sense of duty. Wasted time is one of the most irritating things to me at this present age.

 

I don't know if I like growing up or not. But now, I know that values can, and will change over time.

 

 

No, this isn't a chain letter, as the title would suggest. I hate chain letters and never bother to forward them anyway. xD

 

Here's a poem instead.

 

 

My friend, I stand in judgement now

And feel that you're to blame somehow;

On earth I walked with you day by day

And never did you point the way.

 

You knew the Lord in Truth and Glory,

But never did you tell the story.

My knowledge then was very dim

You could have lead me safe to Him.

 

Though we lived together on earth,

You never told me of the second birth.

And now, I stand this day condemned,

Because you failed to mention Him.

 

You taught me many things, that's true,

I called you friend and trusted you.

But I learn, now that it's too late,

You could have kept me from this fate.

 

We walked by day and talked by night,

And yet you showed me not the light,

You let me live, and love, and die,

You knew I'd never live on high.

 

Yes, I called you "friend" in life,

And trusted you through joy and strife

And yet, on coming to this end,

I cannot now call you my friend.

 

-Author unknown-

 

Valentines Day is coming up. So I expect almost anyone who's human to be able to identify with what I'm going to say next. When you love a person deeply, you can't hide it, in fact, you wanna tell the whole world! Agree?

 

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. [Romans 5:8]

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. [ 2 Corinthians 5:14]

 

How could I not reciprocate a love so great? Love so divine demands my soul, my life, my all.

 

Signing off with the words of the Trademark Christian,

I love you all because He loved me first and His love flows through me.

 

 

Pendidikan Moral certainly gives one a new outlook on things. And you wonder why you constantly hear people complaining left and right about the absurdity of it all. Oh well. I'm chipping in my piece too! Being logical and rational (just like everyone else, of course), it's just too irresistable to reserve my comments on this.

 

Today, we learnt about being responsible. Bertanggungjawab is the word. I shan't give you the definition, because - hehe, I haven't taken the time to memorize it yet. So the teacher was writing notes on the blackboard (oh yeah, the only thing I like about Moral is that the teacher doesn't demand for us to write our OWN notes) and after that, she expounded on what being responsible was. One sentence in particular caught my eye : Tidak menyerahkan tugas dan amanah kepada orang lain.

 

This captured my interest and to further add to my curiosity, the teacher just HAD to use my name. She said," Okay, katakan saya amanahkan sesuatu tugas kepada May. Sekiranya dia menolak atau menyerahkan tugas itu kepada orang lain, maknanya dia bukanlah seorang yang bertanggungjawab."

 

I was a trifle shocked and wondered if that teacher actually did a background check on me and found out about all the past "offers" I had turned down. Offers of being school representative for some competition or another. Of course, there is another explanation for that occurrence, which would happen to be the simple fact that I sit right in front and that my name is the easiest to pronounce in the whole class. My first name, anyway.

 

But being me, I decided to explore that sentence. I shan't tell you the exact words I used in BM, because my spoken BM isn't as fluent as my written BM, which isn't really fluent either. Nevermind, you get the idea. My question : Teacher, let's say you asked me to do something. Knowing my limits, I feel someone else would be more capable of fulfilling that responsibility, so I suggest that the other person do it instead of me, and thus produce a better result altogether. Would this mean that I am not being responsible?

 

The teacher's reply : Ah, that means you're not being responsible! Like if I ask you to be the class monitor, and you reject it, then that means you're not being responsible.

 

My response to that : Teacher, what if I suggest that Tiffany would be able to do a better job? I haven't accepted your appointment yet bor. And she would do a better job anyway.

 

The teacher stuck to her guns. So I just nodded, smiled sheepishly and settled back. I didn't want to get into an endless argument. But once I got a toilet pass together with Chiong Kee, I decided to present my case to her, since peers are more likely to be more rational.

 

May: Hey, let's say the BC teacher asks me to write a BC essay representing my class to some competition. I know I'm not good in BC, so I recommend that you do it, because if you do it, the whole class would have a better shot at winning. Do you think I'm not being responsible?

 

That sentence lead to a discussion. In the end, we finally concluded that I would not be being responsible to my teacher (1 person), but I would be being responsible for another 39 people in my class. Weighing my options, I still decide to take the latter! And yeah, it was settled before we got back into the class. See how sensible peers can be? xD

 

Lesser evil for the greater good wad.

 

What's a responsibility if you haven't accepted it anyway? Think about that. It's only a responsibility if you accept it. And it's only being irresponsible if you don't fulfill your duty well.

 

I'm off for now. My current responsibility is my sleep, and I do so need more of that.

Hey, I actually made it through the third week of school! PRAISE GOD!

 

The reason I'm so enthusiastic is because one of my dear friends is most probably going to be taken out of school soon. According to her mum, she can't cope. So on a more serious note, guys, be thankful that we don't snap that easily under stress.

 

On a more argumentative note, what's with that "wajib menyertai sekurang-kurangnya TIGA aktiviti ko-kurikulum" thing?!  I object! Reason number one, EXTRA-curricular activities only make up 10% of the university entrance application. Reason number two, that 10% has the utmost potential to destroy our 90%, which just happens to be the academic aspect! Not everyone was born to be the modern age Einstein. Not enough time to study and you still demand our time for EXTRA-curricular activities? You would have thought ANYONE in the education sector would have the common sense to figure this out. The fact that this is SMK Jalan Arang you're talking about all the more supports my stand.

 

Sure, so I mentioned this to my form teacher. She responded that nowadays there are more competitors, so that 10% would come in handy. I answered that if that 10% affected my 90%, I don't think I'd be anywhere near the running anyway. So there.

 

Being resourceful, she blamed the principal.

 

And yeah, how fair is it that Koperasi and Magazine staff aren't given points for participating in EXTRA-curricular activities? The most they get is BONUS marks. Bonus your head arh. We're helping the school! So let's just say that I join the Magazine staff instead of going for Kecergasan or some other club. I'd probably contribute more there than in the Kecergasan club, where all I do would be to exercise. No offense to the kecergasan teacher advisors.

 

And I just found out that religion-oriented clubs, for eg. ISCF, do not even garner points. I was banking on the ISCF to get some marks for EXTRA-curricular activities, but seeing the condition now, I wonder how much of that 10% I'll be able to gather. And yes, I'm still sticking with the ISCF, until the day the ISCF has to be cancelled IF it so happens that as a result of the new rules, nobody wants to come anymore.

 

And the principal didn't take all these into account. How convenient. Nevermind, I'll forgive her.

 

But what about competitions, exams and assignments? Don't tell me she forgot all those too.

 

Anyway to wrap it up, I selected 3 activities just to look good. Like I had a choice anyway. So, if I happen to be absent mysteriously during the first meeting of any club, you know the likelyhood of my actually participating for the rest of the year and my reasons for doing so. Or more to the point, of NOT doing so. The other 90%!

 

Really, the Malaysian education sector sucks. Fortunately I don't dream big, or else I'd be snapping under the irrationality of it all already. They can do what they want, I'll mind my own business. The world's a bed of roses. Ahh~

 

And in case you haven't noticed, I'm never going to use the term "Co-curricular" anymore. It's "EXTRA" from now on, and extra unnecessary in May opinion.

Before you guys start thinking I've fallen off the face of the earth, here's a little reminder that I'm alive. And kicking. XD

 

My self-imposed 2-week groundation from the internet is finally completed. Although I didn't feel particularly anxious to get online, knowing what the internet connection is like (-____-;) and the fact that I have loads of stuff to do, it's still nice to online for information.

 

.....

 

OKay okay! Actually, I'm more focused on getting back to chatting with school friends whom I miss! Satisfied? Hey, you guys don't even have time for me anymore with your prefect duties, school work, home work etc.etc.etc..And yeah, I have loads of homework and assignments too, not mentioning responsibilities, housechores and extra-curricular stuff (coming up soon). And to think I was assaulted with demands to take part in Hari Sukan, which to me is not practical, since the sport I'm best in happens to be exam-oriented. The sit-down-n-study sport.

 

Heard that Pn Seriah wanted to see me today (undoubtedly to ask me to be in charge for the KPA foot-drill), but I told the messengers to tell her I've transferred to another school, but they said that she already saw me in this school wearing my uniform. Oh well. Yes, her powers of persuasion is that highly effective and is to be reckoned with. I wouldn't be surprised if she actually managed to convince me to take part. My inability to say "no" often enough makes the job easier for her too.

 

As Nisha said, I think I'm biting off more than I can chew. I'm actually taking chinese as a subject too, for those of you who want to laugh at me. OH well.

 

And like Eddie said, certain teachers in our school have the tendency to "fly" through the syllabus - flying without wings of course. My earlier doubts about his judgements have been cleared. Even Amy has been enlightened about the reason Ray Yap skips school all the time.

 

But a ray of hope shines brightly. As in, my inner kiasuism tells me that if others could manage, of course I'd be able to manage too. And even if I couldn't, I wouldn't tell you anyway. XP